Lonely Reminisce
by Goddess of Ravens Blood
Summary: This story a first point of view from InuYashas' eyes. Of how he feels towards Kagome and his selfish pride getting in the way. Will he have the courage to tell Kagome his true feelings?


"**Lonely Reminisce"**

09/15/2005

by Jennifer Lawson

**NOTE: These characters Do Not belong to me, this is just a story I decided to write with the characters of Inu-Yasha. I would have to rate this around 16 and older for mature readers only.**

Her laughter is something I never get tired of hearing. It brings joy to my heart to hear her singing voice, just the mere sight of her drives me crazy.

Even when she uses the "S" word, I know I truly deserve it or its for my well-being that she does this to me.

I smell her scent when she is near.

It lingers when she is gone, something for me to cling to on those lonely nights when she runs home from my arrogance.

And yet I can't seem to make a move towards her!

I Criticize her, Anger her, but not once have I said those words,

"I Love You."

I am all alone in this. My pride holds me back, keeping me from telling the others my thoughts.

Miroku is too lecherous, too perverted in his own delerious world to understand what I am feeling right now.

Sango is someone I've never been able to open up to. She too is a loner and We both understand it's better to stay out of each others way.

Shippou is too young. Hell he takes baths with them, how can I walk up to this kitsune and pour out my heart and soul to him? Then again even if I did, he would probably open that yap of his and tell the whole world.

Kaede is wise in her years, sister to Kikyo, my old love. She would know what to do, but do I truly have the courage to ask her such a thing? No, she will just tell me to confess to kagome about how I feel.

Not once have I ever apologized for what I've done to make her sad, not once have I gone to comfort her when she needed me most.

"**My pride is my worst enemy**."

**Day 1: Run Along Home Kagome**

She ran home again, I was cruel to her and caused her to cry. I felt bad as I watched her go, wishing I could say something to make it right.

I often wonder to myseslf, "What is she thinking about?"

Later that Evening...

I crept to the well, sniffing the air to see if anyone was hiding about. Sensing no one I leapt into the Bone Eaters Well.

I am accustomed now to the flashing blue lights and the dizzy feeling when I first jumped through the well.

As I crept out on the other side, I sniffed the air of the temple to see if any one was around, I sensed no presence so I quickly dodged from tree to tree until I was in front of Kagomes' room.

I jump to her window ledge and peek through...she's asleep.

"What is she dreaming about?" "Does she dream of our fights, or does she merely dream of the good time she had while in the feudal time?"

I crept into her room and stood beside her bed. I noticed beneath the covers she had nothing on. I checked her door to make sure no one could enter, satisfied I went back to her. I watched as her chest slowly rose and fell underneath the covers. Even in sleep she is a vision to behold.

"I'm glad the lecherous monk can't come through or he would have a field day."

She turned toward me and lets out a sigh..."Inu-yasha"

"She speaks about me in her dreams?" "What more will she say?"

I kneel before her and await for more..."sit"... is the only word I get.

"**Her Dream is My Nightmare**."

After regaining my composure I know she didn't mean it so I let it go and continue to sit and watch her.

Lately my body has had urges to just take her and be done with the whole matter. But my mind says other wise. I do not just wish to mate with her, I want to **BE** with her forever. But what could Kagome possibly see in a mere half-demon like me?

I gave into temptation and gently peeled back the covers to expose her breast and stomach. Her scent was strong from this close range, enough to where I almost lost control of myself. I gazed at the beautiful sight of her goddess like body, a creamy pale color that looked like rich silk. Her hair coyfully hid her breasts from my view. Careful as to not awaken her I tenderly ran my hand down her stomach. By the gods she did feel like silk underneath my hand!

My body began to scream at me to take her, but I forbid myself to stoop that low. I pulled the cover over her and quietly slipped out the window.

Running to the well, I made sure no signs of life were about. Thankful no one else possesed the power to come through the well, the flushed color on my face alone would've given me away. I returned to my feudal time and found an isolated hotspring in the forest.

Disrobing I stepped into the warm water. Taking long slow breaths I was able to calm my inner fury. How I wanted to take her as my own, longed for the moment in which I could just throw my pride away and tell her how I felt. It would be better to have rejection than to lust my life away. Dressing once more I made my way to kaedes' hut, grabbed the last bowl of ramen, ate, and went on to sleep.

In my dreams I saw Kagome opening her arms to me, I ran to her but I just couldn't reach her, she was so close and yet I couldn't touch her!

**"Even in My Dreams I Cannot Touch You"**

**Day 2: Eavesdropping Inu-Yasha**

I awoke with the sun shining in my eyes, Flinching I jumped out of the tree and made my way to Kaedes' hut once more and grabbed a bite to eat. Fish soup sure hits the spot in the morning!

Thanking the old hag for the food I stepped out and went wondering about the woods and found myself heading to the well. I pricked my ears as I heard talk in the same direction I was headed.

Squatting down behind some fan plants I saw Shippou, Miroku and Sango sitting by the well. Being as quiet as possible I moved closer to hear what they were talking about.

Shippou: "Hey Sango when do you think Kagome will come back?"

Sango: "I don't know Shippou, I guess when she feels the time is right."

Shippou: "Ahhh, this is all Inu-Yashas' fault, he shouldn't have made Kagome cry like that!"

I clenched my fists when he said that and made a mental note to pound the little runt when I got the chance.

Miroku: "Now Shippou, you know Inu-Yasha cares for Kagome...he just has a hard time putting the words together that he wants to say to her, so don't be so tough on him okay?"

Sango: "Miroku is right...for once...give Inu-Yasha some time to learn to express his feelings to Kagome, remember he wasn't so open when he met with us either."

Shippou: "I guess you're both right, I will try to be more patient with him, I just can't stand it when Kagome leaves for so long when he upsets her like that."

Miroku: "We all miss her Shippou, I will be glad when she returns as well."

**(SLAP!)**

A smile spread across my face, ("Miroku is right about one thing, but he will never learn to stop being a lecher.") with that grin still plastered on my face I went on in search of more food.

**Day 2 Second Visit, Big Suprise**

I waited until I was sure everyone was asleep and jumped through the well. Scurrying to the tree by Kagomes' window I noticed the light on and could hear loud music from within. Careful not to be discovered I peeked in. There before me was Kagomes' beautiful naked body lying on the bed and what suprised me most of all, she was playing with herself!

She had something in the shape of an odd cucumber in her hand, running it along her now visible breasts, slowing moving down to her womanhood.

My body was screaming at me again but I couldn't take my eyes off her.

She spread her legs and I could see the patch of fine dark hair between her thighs as she inserted the cucumber shaped object in her womanhood.

She let out a small gasp as she inserted it almost all of the way inside her.

Instinct took over me and I silently opened my robes and played along with her, thankfully the music was loud enough and I couldn't sense anyone else in the area.

She started to move the object in and out of her body,and ran her fingers up to her breasts and pinched her nipples lightly. I could hear her gasp in pleasure as she squeezed them harder and thrust her object deep within her. Picking up the speed as she went, I did the same, running my hand rapidly on my manhood. I watched as her body arched off the bed as she plunged herself harder and faster. She was moaning long and hard now. I myself had to bite down on my lip to seal my moans of pleasure. I could smell her climax coming on, and I was near as well, just as I was preparing to release my pleasure she climaxed and let out a scream.

"Inu-Yasha!"

I spilled my seed all over her window-sill but my mind was screaming even louder. ("She fantasizes about me!")

I quickly tied my robe back and silently made it back to the well. My face flushed from my ecstatic moment and from learning the truth.

("Kagome actually cares about me more than i thought.")

**"Patience is a Virtue Afterall."**

I returned to the feudal era, climbed into a nearby tree I succumbed to sleep.

I dreamt again that night, Kagome ran to me and I was actually able to hold her in my arms for the very first time. What joy spread through my very being to know that it wasn't impossible to tell her the truth, I just have to muster the courage to do so.

**Day 3 Do I Have the Courage to Tell Her?**

I awoke early morning. Stretching I sauntered over to Kaedes' hut, the others had gone about their own business so I grabbed a bowl of rice with dried squid and vegetables, (not bad but would've been better with soy sauce) and headed to the secluded hot spring I had discovered from the night before. Disrobing, I entered the warm water and sat back to enjoy this peaceful moment. The water felt so nice and relaxing, I decided to take a nap.

I woke to hear a faint rustling noise, tensing I slowly turned my head around to see Kagome with her back turned to me. I opened my mouth to call out to her and I suddenly noticed that she was undressing. I waited until she was fully undressed to say anything..."uh, Kagome."

Kagome: "Inu-Yasha!" she screeched as she tried her best to not expose her already naked body.

Assuming what she would say next due to past experiences I shouted, "Don't even think about saying the (S) word, I was here first I just turned around to see you there!"

She looked hurt at the fact that she had said it so much that I even knew what she would say. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to say that word so much, it just comes second nature to me now."

I rolled my eyes at her and waited to hear her out.

Kagome: "I didn't think anyone else knew of this place so I didn't see the need to worry about people showing up here."

I gave her a sympathetic look, "Well neither did I, I happened upon it a couple days ago."

Flushing she wrapped a towel around her body and made a motion to leave. "Wait, Kagome I really need to talk to you!"

Kagome: "what about?"

I pulled myself out of the hotspring, not caring about the embarassed look I recieved from Kagome.

Kagome: "Do I need to leave so we both can get dressed?" she asked as her face turned even redder.

Instead of answering I wrapped my arms around her. I listened to her gasp in surprise, I knew she would. "Inu-Yasha?" she asked tentatively.

"I never meant to make you upset or anger you Kagome, I just have a hard time expressing myself to you. I really do care about you."

I sighed in relief as she slowly wrapped her arms around me. I looked into her eyes and saw tears forming at the edges. "What's wrong Kagome?"

Kagome: "It's nothing really, I'm just so happy to hear you say that!"

I leaned down to kiss her and she accepted, I nibbled her lips and she welcomed my tongue in. We clashed tongues for a few moments before we had to break away for air.

Smiling I gently let her go and started to rummage about her backpack and finally found the sleeping bag. Opening it up I gestured for Kagome to lay down. She was shy about it at first but eventually calmed. Hovering over her, I gave a small kiss to her lips. "I must confess something to you Kagome..I saw you last night."

Kagomes' face turned beet red and she strayed her gaze away from me. "How much did you see?"

"All of it."

She closed her eyes and forced to say what she obviously was holding back, "You must think of me as a pervert like Miroku now don't you?"

"On the contrary, I enjoyed it very much that is how I found out about your feelings toward me."

She slowly opened her eyes and returned her gaze to me. "So, you don't think any less of me?"

I replied by kissing her lips and gently running my fingers across her nipples, I could feel them hardening under my touch. "I could never think of such a thing about you."

Moving my hand toward her womanhood I felt her squirming underneath me. My manhood was screaming for me to take her already but I couldn't smell the scent of any other man on her. "Kagome, are you a virgin?"

She flushed under this and nodded her head. "Do you want me to stop, I don't want to do anything that you're not ready for." She quickly shook her head no.

Kagome: "In truth I've been saving myself for you."

My whole body sang out to those words, never had anyone loved me that much to prove themselves in such a way to me.

I kissed her deeply as my hand found its way to her womanhood and gently probed her with a finger. I could feel her insides tensing around my finger, it was a pleasure I couldn't explain. My manhood brushed against her stomach and she arched her back to it, urging me to hurry.

I chuckled at her and sucked on her nipple while I played with the other one with my hand. She gasped and moaned while running her hand through my hair. Tentatively she used her other hand to grab my manhood. I almost melted under her touch and instinctively thrust in her hand. She adjusted her grip as I continued to thrust in and out of her hand. I almost climaxed and had to put a stop to that quickly. Kissing her once more I traveled down her body in a trail of kisses until I reached her womanhood.

She thrust her hips anxiously as I licked her clitoris. She gently rubbed my ears, causing a pleasant sensation I had never felt before as if urging me on, I took in a deep breathe of her scent, no man had touched her womanhood. That in hand I massaged her breast and rapidly licked her clitoris. Once again I recognized her scent of nearing climax and delved my tongue deep into her womanhood. She screamed out as she climaxed and spilled her juices into my mouth.

Kissing my way back up, I nipped her neck and licked the edge of her ear. She giggled and grounded her hip lightly into my manhood. I straddled between her legs as I bent down to her mouth. "Are you sure about this?" She nodded her head and I grabbed her mouth in a tight kiss as I plunged my manhood in and felt the tie of her virginity break away. She clenched her fingers tightly in my hair and I let her ease the pain away before letting go of her lips.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. Slowly I moved my manhood almost all the way out and back in. I did this for a few moments to let her to get adjusted. The feeling was so overwhelming I was close to release right there. I could feel and smell her juices churning and pooling out as her body forgot the pain and paid attention to the pleasure. She let out small moans as I licked and sucked her nipples, running her hands through my hair and grinding her hips in rythym with mine. As I picked up the speed she started to moan louder and dug her fingers into my shoulder to keep from falling out of rythym. I bit her neck, giving her my mark so all including that scum Kouga, wouldn't dare to try anything with my mate! She let out a small cry of pain but I replaced it with a deep kiss.

I was reaching my climax and from her scent so was she. I paused for a second, ignoring her whimper of protest to pick her up off the sleeping bag. I lifted and lowered her up and down on my manhood, pounding into her like there was no tomorrow. "Inu-Yasha!" Kagome screamed as she climaxed, I could feel her muscles tense and I couldn't hold my climax any longer, letting out a deep growl I released my seed in her.

I gently lowered her back onto the sleeping bag and collapsed beside her. She laid there collecting her breath and rubbed my ears, I folded them back out of her reach and she gave me a pouty face which I could die for if she'd do that more often. I chuckled and kissed her lips. We lay there for several long moments until either of us could get up.

Kagome: "Inu-Yasha, why did you bite my neck?"

"I wanted to leave my mark to keep other demons away from my mate."

I watched as Kagome blushed under this compliment and suddenly she turned her eyes away from.

Kagome: "Inu-Yasha, would you care if I decided to have your...pup?"

I just laid there frozen from her request, I knew from a past explanation that in Kagomes' modern world there was a thing called "abortion" where she could get rid of the child, and a thing called a "condomn" to keep a mate from getting pregnant. I never dreamt that she would WANT to bear a pup from a half-demon.

"You wouldn't care telling our pup that he was born of a half-demon father?" "What would your family think of this?"

Kagome: "No, I would be honored to bear your child, and no my family wouldn't mind, you know my mother just adores you and so does sota and grandpa."

I laid there, so many questions I wanted to ask her, which one to ask first?

"Would you stay here in the feudal era or would you want me to go with you to your time?"

Kagomes' face brightened as she hugged me tightly.

Kagome: "I'm so happy that you will let me bear your child, will you come with me to my time?"

I hugged her tightly, no longer would I need to hunt the shards, no more ties to Kikyo, and most of all I would be able to spend my life with Kagome and my soon to be born pup.

"So when do you want to leave for your time?"

Kagome let go of me as she sat there and thought.

Kagome: "Well I guess we can stay here for a bit longer, I will need to tell the others, and I will need to tell my mom before I bring you so she doesn't go into shock."

"I have an idea, why don't you go home now to tell your family and make sure as to whether you're pregnant or not and I will tell the others?"

She smiled, glad that I was able to come up with a solution. Nodding we rose and got dressed. I walked her back to the well, I kissed her goodbye and with a farewell hug she jumped into the well.

I walked toward the village but before that I went back to the hotspring and scratched my marking into the rocks for proof of our love-making that day. Deciding against heading back right away after all I laid down in a clearing and watched the clouds pass by and fell asleep.

I dreamt visions of my child to be and what life would be like living permanently in the modern world.

**Day 4 The Big News to the Others**

Entering the village, I walked up to Kaedes' hut and found Shippou playing with Miroku, Sango and Kilala.

Shippou stopped when he saw me and jumped onto my shoulder, sniffing me all over.

Shippou: "Hey Inu-Yasha where is Kagome, I can smell her scent all over you?"

Sango: "Yes Inu-Yasha where is she, I didn't know she had returned."

"She went back home, she will return in a couple days."

Shippou: "What!..Inu-Yasha can't you see Kagome for five minutes without making her run home again?"

I jumped out of the way as he tried to gnaw at my ankle.

Miroku: "What happened Inu-Yasha?"

"She is going home to inform her family that she is with child."

Shippou, Sango, Miroku: "WHAT!"

I had to clench my ears closed to the loudness of thier shock.

Miroku: "With child? who's child is she bearing, certainly not Kougas' right?"

I snorted, "As if, it's MY child that she is bearing."

Suddenly they attacked me from all sides in a torrent of questions.

Miroku: "When did this happen?"

"Today"

Sango: "Where?"

"At an isolated hotspring"

Shippou: "Did you take advantage of her?"

"No!" I screamed as I knocked him to the ground.

Finally I couldn't take it and entered the hut.

**"Friends can be such a pain in the ass sometimes"**

Kaede was stirring some food, she turned to me and handed me a bowl and filled it with rice and curry with bits of fish.

After having my fill I made a move to leave the hut when Kaede grabbed my arm and pulled me back in.

"What do you want old hag?" "I just told the others anything you want to know."

Kaede: "Inu-Yasha, do you really mean to live with Kagome in her world and raise your pup?"

I twisted my arm out of her grip and snorted, "Of course I do!" "Why wouldn't I?"

Kaede: "Heed my word Inu-Yasha, if you ever run from your responsibilities I will box your ears until you wish you **didn't** have ears!"

I flattened my ears when she said those words, "I will stay and care for Kagome and my child, make no mistake about that!"

With that said I marched out of the hut, soon behind me were the others still demanding answers.

Finally giving in I made my way to the well and sat down. I allowed the others to sit with me in a small circle, well-knowing there was much more we needed to discuss.

Miroku: "Tell us Inu-Yasha, what do you plan to do now?"

"I plan to go live with Kagome and her family in the modern time."

Shippou: "Well when is Kagome coming back to get you?"

"She is going to tell her family first and find out whether our pup will be a girl or boy, then come back to relay the news."

Sango: "What are you going to do in means of supporting Kagome and your child?"

That was something I didn't think about. "I don't know, I need to put more thought into it."

Miroku: "okay Inu-Yasha, tell me this then, do you want a son or a daughter?"

"I don't mind which one Kagome has, but I would like to have a son."

They grew quiet, obviously contemplating what the future would hold.

Finally growing impatient with them I stood up to leave.

Shippou: "Hey where are you going Inu-Yasha?"

"Feh. I'm gonna go hunt down some lunch, don't bother me unless Kagome returns."

I left them at the well to finish their thinking and headed towards the river to catch some fish.

**Day 18 Kagome Returns**

Sighing I sat down by the well, Kagome has yet to return. It's been 2 weeks to this day! Getting tired I laid my head against the well and took a nap.

I was jolted awake by the sound of rustling cloth. Looking around I didn't see anything out of the ordinary so I re-adjusted myself and started dozing again. Suddenly I felt something tickling my nose and tried to brush it away but to no avail. Opening my eyes I saw Kagome sitting in front of me holding a feather in her hand.

She giggled as I groggigly got off the ground.

Kagome: "Wake up sleepy head! Don't you want to hear the news?"

Stiffling a yawn, "Of course I do, tell me."

She had a huge smile on her face. "My family has agreed to let you live in our house and...it's A BOY!"

When she said that my heart sang with joy that gave me the want to tell the whole world!

"Should we go tell the others now?"

Kagome: "For now let's just sit here."

I smiled as we wrapped our arms around one another and contemplated our future.

_THE END _

Well there you have it!

Hope you liked it, please do give me your comments.

**Definitions:**

tentatively: tentative/cautious gesture

reminisce: aid in understanding

lingers:remains there

criticize: point out flaws

lecherous: pervert

kitsune: fox demon

coyfully:

contrary: the opposite

strayed: to wander

instinctively: to go with one's instinct

delved: to penetrate


End file.
